Pick Your Poison

Reaction Formation

Things got better,
but of course they shall return
to the sorry state
I just emerged from.

And I hope that things do get fucked up...
I NEED the pain to be inspired,
and I need the inspiration to be productive...
and that's what makes me happy.

If Steph hadn't left,
I'd still be scared all the time...
I'd have never met my family, met myself,
gone to Burning Man, or met Lo.

If Lo hadn't left,
there is no way that I'd be as inspired and on fire
as I find myself to currently be.
I wouldn't have started painting
or understood myself
nearly as well as I do comparatively.

I might never have made it back to this place
without the reckless abandonment of that woman.

But I wont be here for long, perhaps.
I am no less damagable by dishonor,
no more brilliant when it comes time to decide...
And always, the voices inside
will tell me I am wrong;
to what extent my mind might listen
shall be revealed in the execution.